Conversations Between Q & B During Quarantine: Week 7

Yes.  This may be the perfect time to do all kinds of experimenting…

BOSSY: So I’ve been doing some experimenting during this quarantine.

QUITTER: So are we talking “I’m trying a winged eyeliner look,” experiment or “I’m building a monster with spare body parts,” experiment?  Either way I’d like a picture please.

BOSSY: Well…it’s multiple experiments.  Like the first is I really don’t think I need shampoo.

QUITTER: Oh the “no poo” movement.  I tried that…but I got confused…and backed up…and smelly.  Any noodle…what’s the next experiment, Professor?

BOSSY: What is the average weight gain achieved when eating chips 2-3 times a day? (She asked while eating chips).  I feel like this one is important for all of society to understand.

QUITTER: Approximately 2 guinea pigs a week. (All weight gain during the pandemic is measured in guinea pigs.  Just an FYI.)

BOSSY: Thank goodness you kept pushing for that method of measurement for all those years.  It just took a pandemic but it’s paying off.

Other experiments: How long can I go without talking to someone outside of my household?  Can I grown my own lettuce forever?  And how bad can I make a 7 year old’s hair look?

QUITTER: And I am sure you used the approved scientific method for everyone of these experiments and submitted your hypotheses for review?

BOSSY: To the review board?  Yes.  Always.  I know protocol.

QUITTER: Thank cheebus for that.  All that chip eating would have been nothing otherwise.  And also, now you can finally tell people you’ve donated your body to science.

BOSSY: While alive?  Yah.  Kay.

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