Conversations Between Q & B During Quarantine: (Week 5) Mother’s Day Edition

Quarantined Mother’s Day, sharks, and Cher.  It will make sense.

BOSSY: You’re first quarantined Mother’s Day.  How does it feel?

QUITTER: I think Mother’s Day should be cancelled….no wait, postponed…and then extended to like a week.  Who do I take this up with?

BOSSY: Wow.  I have no idea who has that sort of authority.  Cher?  The Rock?

QUITTER: And also I’d like to petition that my performance as a mother over the past several weeks be stricken from the record.  I had a strong start at the beginning of all this pandemic stuff, but…well…ya know.

BOSSY: Valid.  Nicole Kidman can handle that.

QUITTER: That tracks.  She’s hella powerful.  Plus she had a shark named after her.

BOSSY: She has a shark named after her?  Is it like her full name, like Nicole Mary Kidman is swimming around somewhere?  Or is there a shark named Nikki?

QUITTER: Sharks don’t have middle names.  I feel like it’s a little culturally insensitive that you didn’t know that.

BOSSY: Nikki would have know that….I bet you she’s a good Mom (the actress and the shark).

QUITTER: Are you implying I’m not as good as a shark mom with that comment…because you’d be correct.  I’m no shark.

QUITTER: Wait is that where that F’ing “Baby Shark,” song came from?  I blame your little weasel for teaching it to me btw.  Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo

BOSSY: I’m saying Nicole Mary Kidman has all the facts, as does her name sake, Shark Nikki.  Both put us to shame….And are you asking if Shark Nikki wrote a song about sharks?  Good bet.

QUITTER: I feel like I’m Keanu Reeves learning about the Matrix with this information…um also, do you think it would still be considered cute if say a 47-year-old woman who can’t get her shit together presented her mother with a poorly hand writer I.O.U. for Mother’s Day?  Asking for a friend.

BOSSY: Don’t bother.  Just let her know you successfully got it postponed due to your extensive contacts.

QUITTER: Solid advice.  See that’s why you’re my legal counsel.

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