Last Monday was Family Day here in Ontario… and as much as Quitter and Bossy enjoy a day off, we can’t help but feel that it comes with a large side of pressure. Like we have this one day to get things right and prove to the world that we’re not a total shit show in the parenting department and can create beautiful, picture worthy memories that last a lifetime.
Spoiler alert…it didn’t quite play out that way for either of us.
Quitter’s House Family Day Morning
The Plan – Everyone’s going to wake up early and make pancakes together and the house will be filled with laughter and the warm, warm smell of love.
Reality – We all slept in until noon, (including the dog,) and skipped the pancakes all together.
Meanwhile at Bossy’s House…
The Plan – We too were going to make pancakes! In true Bossy style, I was going to guinea pig my family with a new recipe and we would all hug in happiness at this new tasty discovery.
Reality – The recipe only made 3 for a family of 5. They tasted like sand. Weasel Baby cried.
Quitter’s Afternoon Extravangaza of Family Fun
The Plan – Okay, we tanked it on the family breakfast thing, but we were poised to nail it on family togetherness in the afternoon. It was a beautiful day weather wise so we were going to bundle up and head to the local dog park to watch the dogs frolic and enjoy each other’s company.
Reality – Well we went to the dog park…and on the way there Libby managed to eat part of the arm of one of the seats in the van, the twins fought so loudly I considered jumping out of a moving vehicle and by the time we all got to the dog park none of us were speaking to each other. Plus the sun tricked us, it looked so nice outside, but it was crazy windy and we all froze our butts off.
The Plan – Yes I know I should be stoked for family together time, and I am, but I’m most stoked about cheap electricity and catching up on laundry.
Reality – My kid’s “surprised” me by emptying all the clothes from the laundry basket on to my bed so I could put them away. Right then. Or it would have been bed on the floor that night.
Quitter’s Family Dinner
The Plan – Order takeout and make zero eye contact with each other while eating.
Reality – Ordered takeout and made zero contact with each other while eating. Nailed it.
Bossy’s Family Dinner
The Plan – I’m trying to get more plant based meals into our rotation. Forgetting my “only guinea pig your family once a day” rule, I tried some new recipes.
The Reality – I burned the chickpeas, but the rest wasn’t half bad. The family acted like I was feeding them tree twigs and road de-icer.
Quitter’s Last Ditch Effort at Family Oneness
The Plan – Play a board game together and rediscover the joy of family time.
Reality – Played a board game with teenagers who would have rather been any where else. Swore at said teenagers regarding the complexity of said stupid game and their lack of attention. Cursed the Internet and all thing screen related for ruining all children’s brains.
Bossy’s Family Day Ending
The Plan – I guess I should like cook less, clean less, do laundry less, and spend time with family on Family Day, eh?
The Reality – I snuck to my bathroom to cut my finger nails for the first time in weeks (I hate long nails). Pictured here: only 3 got done. Not shown: the untouched other hand. Also note shown: Weasel Baby pounding on my door demanding to know if I was pooping.