The Love That Dare Not Speak its Name: The Bromance Between Quitter and Bossy’s Partners

This year for Valentines Day we throw caution to the wind and discuss a love that you can’t find a card for…the Bromance.It wasn’t planned. We hoped it would happen. I think all women do. But if we risk saying it out loud we risk rebellion. Or the “don’t boss me,” comeback. So instead we plant seeds, provide opportunities and hope love will bloom. And our case…it has. That’s right. Through very little effort on our part, our partners like each other. Like really like each other. To the extent that whenever we get together they act like the rest of us aren’t in the room and huddle together to discuss what they’ve been holding onto since the last time they got together.

Quitter: Bossy when did you first notice our two menfolk were developing a bond?

Bossy: I remember you mentioning that your dude had taken an interest in hockey.  Like a real interest, wanting to talk about it and crap.  When I heard that I figured all was going to be well.  My husband likes two things: sports and movies, very little else.  You want to talk about those things, then he’s in.

Bossy: Did your husband know he was going to be suckered into a bromance cause he branched out into hockey fandom? Cuz he could have laid low and stayed home more.

Quitter: LOL. I think pretty early on my man-partner realized that if he was going to survive in Canada he was going to have to learn to like hockey. It’s like a currency for men here.  It being the linchpin in his relationship with your person, was a happy coinky-dink.

Quitter: What is one of your favourite/weirdest memories of our dudes together?

Bossy: When we came back from that bridal shower that wasn’t going so great to find out two men folk, drunk off their asses at the hotel bar, describing their night that included watching Harry Potter and discovering whiskey tasting.  I knew the bond was formed.  You?

Quitter: OMG, I forgot about that. What a pair of nerds. But ya, it was pretty darned apparent they were meant to be bros for life at that point. I think this past New Year’s Eve stands out, (and not just because my memory’s shit…okay, a little.) The way they just sat on the couch together chatting non-stop and completely ignoring us made it pretty clear who they were there to see. I think had we stayed until midnight they would have kissed each other.

Bossy: Did you know that tonight my husband asked how you ever found such a swell guy?  It came out as a total insult to you, which I called him on, but he meant instead the circumstances of how you met.  We can leave that story for a later date but it made me wonder: why do you think they find each other so swell?

Quitter: Because they are basically the same guy. You and I have joked about this, but in a lot of ways it rings true. I think hanging out together is like looking in a personality mirror for them. They’re basically in love with themselves.

Quitter: If our tiny house dream came true and we had our lady shack and moved the men to theirs, what do you think it would look like? And what would those relationship dynamics be like?

Bossy: I think our lady shack would actually have a retractable wall, since we both enjoy our alone time and so we would have to enact a secret knock to signify one side was ready to retract the wall.  The men den would be 1/3 sleeping space, 2/3 gaming and TV space with a full size fridge in arms reach just for drinks.  I figure we would interact as two couples only when there aren’t any sports on which if I’ve listened to my husband spout out stats I don’t care about it, only happens about 1 week a year.  It will be a 1 week a year marriage.  We could travel away from our tiny houses and they wouldn’t notice if we steered clear of that week.

Quitter: What do you imagine our twilight years will look like with these guys?

Bossy: Spending copious amounts of time researching the cheapest, best buffets, meeting there to eat at 4:15, spending a majority of that meal talking about arthritis and ungrateful children while drinking decaf and pocketing glassware.  You?

Quitter: Wow, that sounds awesome. If you throw in like five dogs and two miniature pigs that I get to dress up like people I’m in.

Bossy: Do you think we should have encouraged the bromance to be together on Valentine’s?  So they could surf Netflix and discuss everything they have or have not seen and why?

Quitter: We really should have, then you and I could have slipped out and done something enjoyable with no physical contact. Plans for next year.

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