Friendship Hiatus: By Bossy (With Foreword by Quitter)

Quitter: “My name is Quitter and I endorse the following message.”What is it? 

It typically is declared when you are at a point of your life when you are juggling too much. It is most commonly utilized when you are parenting, care giving for elders, working 3 jobs, have 17 volunteer gigs and like to sleep sometimes.  There is no time for friendship amongst all that. It can also be used sparingly, sparingly(!) if you are looking for a slow out of an asshole friendship.

Who should declare it?

Well, it’s reserved primarily for women, though some men have joined. Are you a person who says yes to everything and are confused by saying no? You will at some point in your life have to use this declaration.

When should you declare it?

Do you wake up with heart palpitations, fearing you will never manage to do everything you need to do today? You are a prime candidate for a hiatus. If you’re not feeling the friendship hiatus, maybe you need a employee, partner or parent hiatus? We caution: these aren’t as easy to take without repercussion but if you are up for a challenge, we salute your hiatus hutzpah.

What can you expect from declaring it?

Sadness: These are your closest friends, those who truly care about you and want to see you to share a friendship (unlike the one-sided friendship suckers). Conversation flows nicely between parties. They understand they need to support you. You share an appetizer that involves tomatoes.

Judgement: These are the friends who think their ass smells better than your rump. They can’t fathom(!) how anyone’s life is so unbalanced that you don’t have time for friends. They gossip about you behind your back endlessly, tell you they feel empathy for your situation to your face but quietly judge your sock + pant choice. They wouldn’t dare eat an appetizer on a Thursday.

Confusion: Is this friendship still going? They thought you let it go when your friend/partner/dog stopped going to the office/daycare/the dog park together. You’re on a friendship hiatus? OK. Cool.

Why you should do it?

Do you still like showering? How about eating a salad? Because that is how base your life has become: you can be clean or not die of scurvy but you cannot also keep up a friendship.

How long will it last?

Life will flip again and balance out better. Or it won’t. We’re not doctor’s. But we give you a seal of approval for making the hard choices and realizing you can’t be everything to everyone.

Photo by Jan Tinneberg on Unsplash

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2 thoughts on “Friendship Hiatus: By Bossy (With Foreword by Quitter)

  1. Uh oh. This sounds worrisome. I hope you’re okay! I do understand wanting to quit friends and I have done it but only to those “2nd tier” (no judging, please) folks ie. the Fakebook friends. I also say no a lot more than I used to because I’m past the pleasing age.


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