The Low Bar is the Best Bar (By Quitter)

Damn it. I’ve done it again. I’ve peaked way to early at work and now people think I’m chatty and interesting and kind of normal.

When will I learn that setting the bar low is always the best game plan?

So I’m a full month into my amazing new job and it really is going well. I love the work I get to do, believe in the organization I work for and genuinely feel like I am helping people everyday. I’m even navigating the world of workplace chitchat without coming off as a total anti-social dork. But there in lies the problem. I’ve set the bar way too high. There is no way I can keep up this engaging, non-sarcastic personality for the rest of my work life. The smiling alone is giving me daily migraines. I suspect it’s only a matter of weeks before my weirdness sneaks out.

And then what? A woman can only fake her death so many times before people start getting suspicious.

I also have a growing fear that my new work place does things together. Like social things. So that’s a problem. I’m not a joiner. Group stuff is really not my jam. It literally makes me itchy just thinking about it. And I already know my work colleagues do all kinds of wonderful things to raise money and be good people and stuff. (Again, something that makes me super proud to be part of such an amazing organization.) But does it have to have a social component? Could I not just give a one-time donation that would cover me for the year and ensure my exclusion from all future social events? Was there I box I was supposed to tick during the training process that would have made this an option?

But in all seriousness, navigating the workplace and being friendly can be a real struggle for an introvert. Especially a people pleasing, oh my god I am just so happy to have gotten this job and I don’t want to mess anything up kind of introvert like me. So now what?

Who knows? I figure I at least have another few weeks of perky, chatty Quitter in me. And maybe by the time my true crusty, slightly odd nature begins to seep out I’ll be doing so well at my job they’ll be prepared to overlook it. Or I could just continuously bring great snacks for the coffee break room. It’s a working plan.



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4 thoughts on “The Low Bar is the Best Bar (By Quitter)

  1. You know it’s just a matter of time before they elect your chairperson of the Social/Recreation Committee.
    So, your only alternative is to fake your death.
    Shall I orchestrate a fiery demise or an undiagnosable fatality for you ? And then you spend the remainder of your life living incognito in the wilds of Borneo.

    Liked by 1 person

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