How To Make Friends As A Grown-Up, Kid Style (By Bossy)

My youngest made 6  new friends this week. They became friends in the course of 45 seconds.

There was no awkwardness, no concern about appearance or social status or whether or not the other would actually enjoy each other’s company. No barriers, just a shared look of “Dirt. Let’s do this,” and off they went to fill their pants with sand.

Grown-ups: In a world where we spend so much time hyper self-aware, I say it’s time we start making friends again like we were 4. At your new job or during your wait in the grocery line is now officially day 1 of the Kindergarten yard and we all abide by the same rules. They are:

  1. If you sit beside someone, be it on the bus, at a concert, in the lunchroom or at the dentist, they are your new best friend. It is a proximity rule.  No one can argue it.
  2. If you share any sort of edible with someone (sandwich, weed gummy, dried pasta from your fanny pack) new BFF. Friendship status upgraded to “Life Mates” if you do this at a sit down restaurant where outside food is kinda frowned upon.
  3. If you get down on the ground to do ANYTHING where your head is close enough for a lice bug to party between the two noggins (I’m talking helping a contract tiler, community gardening for squash or helping a stranger locate their contacts under a bus), you guessed it, chums!
  4. If you find you share the same name, don’t even question it. Lean into your new friend, Sue, Sue.
  5. If your Mom/Wife tells you should be friends with Henry because Henry is “so nice” (code for your Mom/Wife is friends with Henry’s Mom/Wife so you have to be friends with Henry even though he smells awful and laughs through his nose), sorry bud, new friend.

Happy friendship-ing and please make sure to share which of these techniques worked for you (we will only accept answer (A) All of them).

Photo by Kande Bonfim on Unsplash

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