You arrive at your destination relatively on time…
…and tease your travel companions with photos that you’re already drinking and damn well better get there fast.
Immediately after promoting jealousy and general anger – snacks!
Finally all together, you eat at a fancy restaurant, try to take a selfie of yourself and “The Librarian,” but realize you are too impaired to operate heavy machinery.
You order all the meat and all the cheese with the sole purpose of sending “food porn,” photos to your partner. Naked selfies be damned.
You return to your hotel and compare swollen feet sizes because you were sitting on bar stools and ate a lot of salt.
You disregard fashion in the name of general dryness.
Every lovely, little cottage beckons you to start your new life with your hetero life mate/writing partner.
Downtimes are spent taking requests on your uke.
The moment you start to deeply resent being DD.
That moment when you are really, really f’ing happy you’re not the DD.
You abandon your fanny pack (that everyone continues to truly question if they’ve made a comeback) in the name of wine testing refills while…
…you act all casual and cool while you drink water from a wine glass while plotting your drunk friend’s untimely demise.
Realizing you should probably take at least one vineyard related picture on your wine tour to prove to people you weren’t just drunk in your backyard.
You finish the night off with a fancy plate of vegan burgers and fries.
On the final day, there is still time to uke…
…put your feet in the lake,
…pose all sassy by a strangers moped while hoping to god they don’t catch you,
…covet pizza earrings you so wish you bought,
…and eat some of the best Mexican food you’ve ever had,
while everyone strategically visits the bathroom in order to admire the sink.
Finally, you toast two wonderful, chuckle heads who bring all the laughter and all the feels every gosh darn time we travel together.