Quitter and Bossy got an adventure away in wine country this past weekend with two friends we shall call Teeny Weeny and The Librarian. This is our round-up of the trip.
Great friends. Great food. Great wine…and a micro penis. This weekend was all kinds of great, but also all kinds of weird. Bossy thoughts?
Bossy: I was struck with how often I thought to myself “Do other 40 year-old women act this immaturely?” And if not, why not, cuz it’s fucking awesome and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Also – learning about a micro-penis – unexpected.
Quitter: Yes, there are some things you just can’t unknow…or unsee. Moving on. Were you aware that the original plan for touring wine country involved 40 kilometers of biking? And, follow up question, if so please explain your choice of “flip flops,” for footwear for said journey? (I’m pretty sure that knick name is going to stick btw.)
Bossy: These pictures are deceiving, but yes, the plan had been to be on actual bikes. To be honest, I was not on my A-game this weekend. Inappropriate footwear, no snacks. It was like I put my Bossy personality on standby. Granted, the biking never happened so Flip Flop snuck by.
Quitter: I am very proud of my ability to avoid any and all activities that may lead to me bruising my lady parts. I also believe that at least one of us would have veered off into a cornfield and been abducted by aliens had we attempted the original plan and that two of us would have ended up in the Emergency room. Now can we talk about your mastery of accents? Who knew that all accents from every country sounded British?
Bossy: “Head’s Up” was a very insightful game about myself. I was highly shocked and disappointed in my ability to nail accents. I just always assumed I could bust into character on cue. I could not. I need to work on that, like you need to work on your miming.
Quitter: I take offence to that. I trained with the masters. If you were to ask a mime to show you what going up an escalator would look like it would look exactly like that. My talent is subtle. I think that’s where I lost you. Okay onto the musical portion of this post. Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive,” the Julia Childs remix. Comments? Constructive Criticism?
Bossy: It’s a solid plan. I will make sure all parties feel supported to pursue those creative opportunities. Including playing a trident.
Quitter: A trident is harder to tune then you think. We’ll have to put a pin in that for now. Circling back to the micro penis, (a phrase I never thought I’d get to say, let alone type,) did you feel like your questions were answered or do you need to delve further?
Bossy: I’ll have questions forever. This picture also brings up a lot of questions.
Quitter: Thank you for sharing that. I did look very sexy in my complimentary see through rain poncho. Did you notice I was the only one wearing one? I’m what’s known as a “trend setter.” I don’t like to bring it up all the time, but I’m kind of cool.
Bossy: Cool? Is wearing a sweat bag cool now? Agree to disagree. Though 10 points for wearing that in public.
Quitter: So whatdaya think for next year? A wine tour of the Okanagan Valley followed by a stop at a “Furries,” convention?
Bossy: You had me at “Oka”.
NEXT WEEK – What travelling with 40 year-old’s actually looks like.