Olympic Events Quitter Would Dominate

You don’t have to say it, I know when you look at me I scream professional athlete… But for serious, if any of the things I list below some how ended up being in the Olympics I’d definitely medal in at least three of them.

  1. Anything related to ingesting a shit-ton of gummy products (including blue sharks, worms and, in a pinch, gummy vitamins.)
  2. Dances inspired by everyday activities (washing dishes, vacuuming, folding the laundry.)
  3. Messing up song lyrics and then insisting that’s how the song actually goes. (Gold medal in this event, no question. I have forever ruined “Come on Eileen,” for at least six people.)
  4. Not responding to phone calls, emails, texts and all other forms of communication. (I can’t say this enough, “Boo people!”)
  5. Not making eye contact. (I’ve trained for like 46 years on this one…so ya know the gold is pretty much mine…so long as I don’t have to look the medal presenter in the eye.)
  6. Buying people I love awesome birthday cards and then forgetting to send them. (I am the worst. So I definitely deserve a medal for that.)
  7. Not knowing how to play a single video game. (I think this is the thing I’m proudest of.)
  8. Talking about how awesome dogs are. (They are awesome.)
  9. Eating a lot of cheese and then not so quietly regretting it. (My partner may deserve a medal for sharing a bathroom with me and my cheese loving butt.)
  10. Playing and singing “Eye of the Tiger,” on my uke. (It’s so my jam. What can I say? I AM the eye of the tiger. And it IS the thrill of the fight.)

And that’s it. Man that was exhausting. I need a nap. Oh ya napping. I could rock that too.

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2 thoughts on “Olympic Events Quitter Would Dominate

  1. I would give you a good run on #7. Please bring your uke to our next workshop – I want to hear you sing and play Eye of the Tiger. Seriously.

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    1. Oh goodness Susanne, no one and I mean NO ONE ever needs to hear me sing or play my ukulele. My dog and Bossy remain my only audience. However, I might be swayed by grape libations and gummy products. As always thanks for reading. Q

      Liked by 1 person

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