No, Bossy did not join a stage show. I did something way more terrifying.
At least terrifying for me. As I’ve posted here before, I’m an introvert. For people who know me personally, there’s likely a 50/50 split of those who believe and don’t believe that. I think there are many types of introverts and my version happens to be one that’s pretty social but hits a point where I long to be alone. It’s a longing that’s almost primal. Like solitude is food.
So what did I do that was terrifying? I put myself out there.
I posted something that to me is very intimate, my passion for environmentalism and my longing to do more, to a public social media group – 8000 strangers to be exact. I placed myself in harm’s way of criticism, skepticism and mockers.
After hitting “post,” my inner fear demons screamed “ABORT!” That this was the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, Bossy, and you will wear the scarlet letter of “I” (for idiot) for the remainder of your pitiful existence.
And then that fear…subsided.
I realized I didn’t care. If it branded me the neighbourhood whack job, alright then, because expressing who I am and the things that trouble me is simply validating who I am and what I hold dear. I did it with positivity and zero judgement of others and if it only pulled one like-minded person out of the wood work to express “samesies,” it was a win.
The amazing, almost magical thing actually happened. They came. The people, with the same fears, concerns and motivations about the planet, started to come out. Turns out most of them weren’t strangers.
I think when we are truly authentic and place our heart on our sleeve and express, “This is what hurts me,” you pull out the authenticity in others. Their heart makes its way down their arm.
So like the lunatic that I am, I’ve added more madness to my life but it’s an authentic madness that felt urgent to me and impossible to ignore. If you too have something that’s burning you up inside, causing you sleepless nights and bouts of anxiety, please find the strength to take the first step, whatever that might be and however scary it might feel. Know that I have your hand as your head screams “STOP.” The voice inside will be the first to actually stop and the other side of that noise is breathtaking.