I don’t wish ill on my husband, buuutttt…should I find myself single because, oh, I don’t know: he has fallen for a 20 year younger assistant from his office who has retained her original boob shape, this is what I’ll:
Think: Darn. We had a good run. I hope he doesn’t take all the movies.
Feel: So much time to be alone. (joyously) What am I going to do with all this alone time?!?!?
Tell Others: Oh you know. I could find someone else but that might cut into ukulele time and I really need to work on my music.
Do With My New Free Time: Watch documentaries, read non-fiction, make the weirdest crafts after spending too much time on Pinterest, drink tea, wine and smoothies, volunteer way too much. Like more than I already do.
Spend My Money On: Charities that inspire me that day and lead me to financial crisis.
Do For Accommodations: Buy a tiny house, park it on enough property to have a veggie garden.
Do If He Wants To Stay Friends?: Tell him to come over and eat some zucchini from my garden. I’ll show him my single bed that is parked under the stove. I may or may not invite him to stay on the bathtub pullout.