Nothing Says Christmas Like Invasive Questions

You asked the tough, festive question, we answered…1. What Christmas song could you listen to all day every day and which song makes you shove dynamite in your ears?

Bossy: I could listen to “Christmas Time Is Here” from A Charlie Brown Christmas forever.  “Christmas Shoes” turns me into the cynical, dead-inside beast that I think I truly am.

Quitter: Bing Crosby’s version of “White Christmas,” gives me all the feels because it reminds me of dad. And Mariah Carey can burn in hell for her version of “All I want For Christmas is You.” No Mariah. No. I do not want you for Christmas. Not now. Not ever. Let it go already.

2. Do you have a Christmas movie you must watch every year or you refuse for the holidays to continue?

Bossy: “A Christmas Story”.  When I got to actually speak with the real Ralphie on a conference call, I sweat so profusely that I left permanent palm stains on a boardroom table.

Quitter: “Christmas Vacation.” The sap, the squirrel, the sweaters, Chevy Chase at his stone cold foxiest. That chin…back in ten.

3. Which of your kids get the most excited about Christmas (now or in the past) and how did he/she react? 

Bossy: Not entirely sure yet but it’s definitely not WB.  That kid is so low key.  In enthusiasm, he’s always at a 5.

Quitter: Ummm…so no one in our house gets more excited then my partner. The kids don’t even come close to his level of excitement over presents. And don’t get me started on his menu planning. The rest of us just kind of ride his wave of enthusiasm.

4. How did the “There is no Santa” discussion go down in your house?

Bossy: Only 1 of 3 know so far.  WB told me matter of factly one random summer evening while drying dishes.  Again, he was at a 5.  We moved on fast.

Quitter: It didn’t…at least not from me. When our oldest was eight she just came home from school one day and let me know the whole Santa thing was a pack of lies and one of her younger sisters piped up in agreement. Our third daughter hung in for another year or so, but eventually gave up most likely due to consistently not getting what she asked for Christmas.

5. What smell indicates to you it is Christmas time?

Bossy:Epicure’s Christmas Tea.  I will gladly and freely endorse that cup’o’Christmas.

Quitter: Can’t do just one, I prefer a cornucopia of nose bombardment during the festive season thank you very much. In no particular order they are as follows: gingerbread baking, cinnamon, pine trees, roast beast and strong booze.

6. Where do you see yourself spending your Christmas’s in 10 years from now?

Bossy: I will likely still have children in my home at that point (unless the 13 year-old declares emancipation).  So it will be Groundhog’s Day, but Christmas Day, with hopefully all the same people present.

Quitter: For the love of god and everything that is holy, let it be somewhere warm. Screw the presents, the tree, the lights, peace on earth and good will to men and all that other jazz, just get me out of the cold and snow.

7. What is the best gift you think you’ve ever bought? 

Bossy: It wasn’t a Christmas present but I surprised my then boyfriend, now husband, with ice-level hockey tickets to see the Penguins, his favourite team.  I think he proposed to me in his head on that day.

Quitter: I am a totally shit gift giver. Ask anyone, especially my partner. Quite literally nothing stands out for me on this one. I just randomly buy crap and hope people don’t get angry with me. If that sentiment does not scream Christmas spirit then I have no idea what does.

8. What is your favourite ornament on your tree? 

Bossy: The Mickey ears that remind me of when we took a family trip to Disney and/or the picture of our two cats attempting to eat each other.

Quitter: A tiny, shiny, green pickle.

9. If you were a character in the film “Home Alone”, which character would you be and why? 

Bossy: The creepy Grandpa who does a heck of a lot of shoveling and was born for anger.

Quitter: Is there a character that is grumpy and drinks too much Christmas punch? I haven’t seen this movie in ages, but I’m guessing most people would pick the Daniel Stern, stupid thief character as my alter ego.

10. If you were hired as a mall Santa, what would be your signature saying?

Bossy: “I see you when you’re sleeping, Timmy.  I see you.”

Quitter: “You better not pee on me ya little jerk.”

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4 thoughts on “Nothing Says Christmas Like Invasive Questions

  1. A most amusing reflection. This post requires WAY too much thinking about Christmas. That said, I’m grateful for traditions – like A Christmas Story on Xmas eve, mass on xmas eve (only time ever and only for the carols). I bake the same cookies every year, the kids stockings (kids being 18- 21 & 24) are stuffed with the same things year after year, we eat dried turkey every year. These give me comfort. But, like Quitter, I’d go somewhere warm for the holidays in a heartbeat.

    Keep writing you two! Enjoying your words very much.

    Like

    1. Susanne, thank you for your awesome-tactic words of encouragement. Judging from the time you posted this reply we suspect you were either very sleep deprived or a member of the undead. Either way a compliment is a compliment and we’re taking it. And thank you for sharing your wonderful holiday traditions that sound both monotonous and filled with family gooeyness. Here’s hoping we all find ourselves basking in the sunshine like shiny lizards sometime soon. And in all serious THANK YOU for your support.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. 1. Absolutely none. I HATE Christmas music.
    2. A Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, Elf and the Jim Carrey live action version of the Grinch.
    3. I do not have children so I don’t care which children get excited.
    4. See answer 3
    5. Turkey farts
    6. Either at home or on a beach. The only difference will be the weather…coffee and Bailey’s for breakfast no matter where I am.
    7. Omg, I bought myself the CUTEST sweater last year…..in my favourite colour too! I’m an awesome gift giver.
    8. Again, no kids so no tree, no decorations, no stockings, no fighting over who tears it down puts it all away.
    9. I’d like to think I’d be the absent-minded mother who left her child behind but people who know me would likely say I’m most like the troublemaking 8 year old boy.
    10. “I’ll give you something to cry about!”

    Like

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