Bossy asks Quitter all your burning AND soothing questions…
1. What is your favorite method of transportation?
My feets. I dream of a life where I can walk everywhere and never have to drive again…oh but then where could I could sing very loudly off key? Hmmm…could someone please invent a walking bubble that allows introverts to walk around singing and hosting imaginary podcasts with no one hearing them?
2. Do you have rituals before a flight? What are they?
Really Bossy? We’re going there. You know I f*** hate flying. Okay first I do a lot of “catastrophizing,” of the “we’re all gonna die,” variety before I even get on the plane. Then I try to do what this book bossed me to do and remind myself that I am not important enough to die in a plane crash. This notion makes me kind a crabby ‘cause, hey, wtf? I’m important enough to die in a fiery death aren’t I? And then I eat a banana and the chill the f’ out. You read that right, a banana. Bananas have tryptophan, a natural sedative, (yes the very same one that is found in turkey, but who has time to eat a whole turkey before flying) and they also bind you up. So I effectively kill two birds with one stone. By eating a banana I calm the f’ down and know that the likelihood of me having to poop on a plane are very low. Next question.
3. If you could be the proud owner of any animal without any of the consequences (ie: death; maiming; the realization you’re a horrible person for keeping a wild animal) what would it be?
Now this is a question I can get behind. Easy. Sloth. No wait, many sloths. And some miniature pigs. Oh and maybe a tiny donkey. Suffice it to say I would happily render my partner and children homeless and surrender our home to a mengerie of animals if I thought I could get away with it.
4. What lyric leaves you in a state of wonder?
This suggests I know the actual lyrics to songs and don’t make up my own. Hmm… ”it’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight.” Ya that’s pretty heady stuff right there.
5. What was the last worst book you read?
Fifty Shades of Grey. I admit it I was a joiner and read it. And although I’m down with a naughty read, the writing was not great and the referrals to her “inner goddess,” and other crap like that left me wanting to puke.
6. What alternative lifestyle do you feel gets the worst rap?
“Bron-nies,” as in grown up dudes who really like “My Little Pony.” So I’m not overly sure if they just really dig the toys or feel a deep connection to the philosophies espoused by the colourful equine creatures or just like to dress up like a pretty pony and get it on. Whatever their reasons, mad respect to guys who love the MLP.
7. When is your favorite season?
Fall. I suspect it is every chubby girls’ favourite season. After dealing with the sweat and thigh rub of summer, we finally get to put on comfy leggings and big sweaters. Oh and the colours and stuff too.
8. What are your grumpy triggers?
This could be such a long list. Good lord I can be a grumpy jerk at times. But I think my biggest trigger is people demanding my attention the second I get in the door. My job is a non-stop demand fest from high-need people and I just need a few minutes to myself before my family puts their demands on me, but that rarely happens. For the longest time my girls used to be waiting at the door for me so they could fill my ear hole with whatever the latest drama at school was, until my partner intervened. Of course now I see that was just his ploy to get himself to the front of the line. I am not ashamed to say that I have considered sitting in my vehicle in an empty parking lot for half an hour before going home on more then one occasion.
9. If you could change all of society’s view on one thing, what would it be?
Holy cheebus B, what’s with the weighty questions? You know I’m a social justice crusader so picking just one is hard for me, but right now the issue closest to my heart is the sexualisation of young girls. As the parent of three teenage girls, this has become a major theme in our house. Trying to override the constant messaging that “what you look like,” and “how sexually attractive you are,” are your most important attributes is exhausting.
10. What is your parallel self doing right now?
She lives alone in a small, but lovely apartment in New York City or Vancouver, Canada in the same building as Bossy. And she most definitely has a miniature pig named “Huey Lewis.” She most likely earns her living writing or tap dancing on the street for shiny nickels.